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Friday, January 22, 2010

Wracked with grief...

I never fully comprehended this phrase until today...

My grandmother passed away this afternoon... The woman who I am most like, in stature and personality, is gone. She was a wonderful example of strength and resilience. She always had enough love to give to all her grandchildren, even when they irritated her (as I did on several occasions).

My boss sent me home after finding me sobbing at my desk (I got the call while I was at work). I called Aaron, who is in Bethel. I'm not sure yet if he will be able to come home at this time or not. He'll let me know later tonight. I kept it together enough to drive home, but as soon as I got in the door, I cried like I haven't in a very long time. I had one of those crying jags that makes you sick. I am crying as I write this now, but it's a much more subdued version, with the occasional hiccup or sniffle.

I will think of her often and miss her dearly...

5 comments:

Summer said...

Oh Jen - I'm so sorry! I wish I were there in person to be your friend - give you a hug. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

Null said...

I'm so sorry for your loss Jen. Take care of yourself. I hope Aaron can make it home to be with you.

Nicole said...

I'm hurting along with you, Jen. My grandma passed away 3 years ago due to a surgical complication. She was fine at Christmas dinner, then was hanging onto life three days later. Although I wasn't as close to her as you seem to be with your grandma...I know the deep hole it caused in my heart. Is she in Utah? Will you be able to come to the funeral?

Jen said...

Thanks for your kind comments everyone. She is in Colorado. At this time, we are not planning a service right away. Her wishes were to be cremated. We may have a memorial service in the spring or fall when the weather is better.

Her passing was very quiet. She didn't suffer. From what I understand, she went to sleep and never woke up. Even though it is a comfort to know that her passing was peaceful, it is still a shock. I wish my husband could be home...

brinarae said...

I don't know what I will do without my Grandma. The thought of losing her scares me, because I feel close to her like you are with yours. With each passing year, it becomes more of a reality, and being so far away does not help. It's strange, because I know that both she and my Mom will probably go at about the same time. How heartbreaking for them as well, to lose your mother right before you die, or to lose a child at 88+ years old. It will be difficult, so I remember to cherish every moment I have with both of them. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Hope things are getting a little easier.