It's amazing how much hard work pays off...but are the sacrifices you have to make for the result worth it?
I received my final grade for one of my classes that I just completed last week. I finished it with 100%! Yay me! I was so excited! I immediately ran into the other room, joyously exclaiming to my husband that I got an A! All my hard work paid off!
His response... yay.
A little anti-climactic, don't you think?
I know he's been a little (or a lot) frustrated with my schedule this week. He was disappointed when I started my new classes on Monday. He's been wanting my attention all week, complaining that as soon as I get home from work, I (might) eat dinner, then I disappear in my office until I'm ready for bed.
Which, for the most part, is true. I only have 4 hours a day to do my school work and turn it in on-time, thanks to the time difference between where I live and where my school is based. That's not a lot of time to prepare responses and finalize assignments, or read a chapter of a text book in one night...
So, I guess I have been isolating myself a lot lately. But I don't see any other way to handle my school work right now. I try to work at least one day ahead on my assignments, so I don't HAVE to push it every night. I can take a few hours to spend time with my husband. But sometimes, it doesn't work out that way.
I have to think to myself, is all the work I'm putting into getting my degree worth it in the end if my relationship suffers? On one hand, I know it is very important to our life that I have my degree. I also know that Aaron can't have everything he wants, when he wants it. On some level, he needs to grow up and accept the fact that I need to do this. But I also don't want to completely cut myself off from him, especially when he is only home for 2 weeks at a time. I would much rather spend my time hanging out with him than debating whether or not capital punishment is a good thing... I don't want him to think that my priorities in life are WORK-SCHOOL-AARON... As you can see, I'm very conflicted...
So, how do I handle all my responsibilities? My career, my education, my husband? Do I drop out of school (again) so that I can be there for him? Do I tell him to let me do what I need to do? Do I drop to part-time at work and live frugally? Or do I just keep working like I have been and hope that he gets used to it? I have no idea.
I have started working on my homework downstairs, where he generally is. While this helps to satisfy his need to spend time with me (as he is usually on his computer anyway, with his focus split), this doesn't help me to actually complete an assignment. It is difficult to concentrate on my task at hand when he tries to carry on a conversation with me while I'm typing a response or reading a section in my text book.
He goes back to work on Friday. I have shut myself in my office this evening to allow me to focus on my assignments that are due tomorrow. If I have them done and submitted tonight, then I won't have to do any school work tomorrow and I can spend his last night home with him. Again, another sacrifice. Avoiding him tonight so I can spend time with him tomorrow...