Thursday, July 29, 2010

Who are you and where the hell have I been?

I feel like I have dropped off the face of the earth... Between being crazy-busy (like totally insane panic attacks and freak-outs) and technical issues, I have ignored my blog in favor of my sanity... I have ignored many things in my life other than work and school to the point of exhaustion, grief, failure, guilt, and a whole bunch of other descriptive words that I can't think of right now but they are right there at the forefront of my mind. My housework has suffered in the last 4 months, I've ignored my husband, gone through cycles of binge eating and not eating at all... Stress is a horrible, horrible thing...

I have dealt with the stress by removing some of the responsibilities that I have. It also helps that we are done with the "busy season" at work. I rearranged my class schedule to take just one class at a time for a while. God, what a relief it is. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in a long time. Almost like I am getting over being sick with something that has kept me down for a long time... I feel like I have the time to take my dog for a walk, cook AND eat dinner, wash the dishes, do my laundry, read my class assignments, and conduct research. Aaron hasn't been home since my class schedule changed, so I'm not sure how he will fit into my new schedule just yet, but I'm sure he will be delighted that my schoolwork is done in generally 2 hours max (rather than the 5-6 hours a night I was spending).

With all the stress from my last two (evil) classes, I was not very healthy. I ate food way too late (basically, around 10:00-11:00 PM, after I got done with my work and realized I hadn't eaten yet) and drank WAY too much Diet Coke. I also drank other beverages to help take the edge off (preventing massive anxiety attacks in the process). I don't normally "drink" that much, maybe a few times a month. And even then, it is usually only just one glass of wine, one shot of vodka, etc... My stress (and habits I was developing to deal with the stress) was leading me down a very bad road. I am so glad that the craziness has ended...

My indulgences are not without consequences, though. I decided a visit to my doctor was warranted immediately following my "finals hell." My body was not happy with the stress and my ways of coping with it. Which has lead to another round of detox. I detoxed last year, too, with successful results. However, I think that I am not designed to follow the "new" diet. After a week, I was still experiencing headaches (which usually subside after about 3 days). I also still feel fairly lethargic, and I should be getting my energy back by now. I vaguely remember that we had to modify my diet last time due to my hypoglycemia, but I don't remember how we altered it. Needless to say, I still feel like crap, extremely hungry following a meal, and I need to do something about it. Even adding protein (chicken) a day before the diet plan said to, and eating sweet potatoes as a side instead of brown rice or lentils, and I still feel like I haven't eaten all day... Hopefully, my doctor will come back from her conference soon so I can get more information on how to alter the diet so I don't feel this way. If not, I'll have to modify it on my own, which will reduce the effectiveness of the diet.

Expect many of my posts to be nutrition-related, since that is the ONE class that I am taking right now - so much more interesting to me that the stuff I just finished studying!

I need to send a special apology to my sweet nephews... With all of the craziness, I STILL haven't sent you your birthday presents (from back in JUNE! - #AuntFail). I am so sorry that they are this late and you should have them soon. First, I have to find a box that will fit them. They are a little too long to fit in a flat-rate box, otherwise they would have gone out a while ago. Your Uncle and I hope you enjoy them (and the paper they are wrapped in)!