I am tired of being constantly on edge about certain areas of my life...
I am tired of worrying about everything that I do, for fear that it will be wrong...
I am tired of losing sleep over this particular issue...
I am tired of hating my life in general despite the many things in my life that make me happy...
This particular area used to make me happy... I used to feel fulfilled and I had a sense of accomplishment...
My self confidence has taken a real nose dive because of this issue... I second guess everything and assume that I'm wrong all of the time. The uncertainty is leaching into other areas of my life as well. I wonder if I ever was talented in this area. I wonder if I really DO have a problem that means I suck...
I feel myself going down a dark hole, with no end in sight...
So, I'm taking my shovel and I'm digging myself out. I refuse to feel this way and I am doing something proactive about it. Something positive. It has begun!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Happiness is...
As part of my new attitude this year, I will attempt to look on the bright side of things. I have been a pessimist for far too long.
So, despite having to clean up several "accidents", I have thoroughly enjoyed our new puppy. She is getting snugglier (is that even a word?) every day. Today, she gave me lots of puppy kisses on my nose for the first time :)... There is nothing more stress relieving in this world than puppy kisses!
Dinner was a new recipe - French Lentil & Rice soup... The recipe came from a Crock Pot cook book that my mother-in-law gave me for Christmas. I didn't even think about dinner until after my nap, so it wasn't made in a Crock Pot. But it was good anyway. I'm not a stranger to Lentil Soup (from my detox diet days) and have discovered a liking for it. This recipe is simple and quite tasty :)
French Lentil Rice Soup
6 c. Chicken or Vegetable broth
1 c. Lentils, picked over and rinsed
2 med. Carrots, peeled & finely diced
1 sm. Onion, finely chopped
2 stalks Celery, finely diced
3 Tbsp. uncooked white rice
2 Tbsp. minced garlic
1 tsp. herbes de Provence or 1 tsp. dried Thyme
1/2 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. white pepper
1/4 c. heavy cream or 1/4 c. sour cream, divided (optional)
1/4 c. chopped Parsley (optional)
Stir together broth, lentils, carrots, onion, celery, rice, garlic, herbes de Provence, salt, & pepper in Crock Pot. Cover and cook on LOW 8 hours or on HIGH 4 to 5 hours.
Remove 1 1/2 cups soup and puree in a food processor or blender. Stir pureed soup back into Crock Pot.
Divide soup evenly among 4 serving bowls, garnishing each with 1 Tbsp Cream and 1 Tbsp Parsley, if desired.
**My Alterations: I rough-chopped all the veggies - I prefer a rustic style soup. I also exchanged brown rice for the white rice. I didn't have herbes de Provence or dried Thyme, so I used Italian Seasoning instead. I heated everything in a pot on the stove and brought it to a boil. Once it reached a boil, I lowered the temperature to simmer and I covered the soup until the rice and lentils were done... It took about 30 -45 minutes. I used an immersion blender and stopped before it got too pureed. I omitted the cream and parsley (didn't have any).
So, despite having to clean up several "accidents", I have thoroughly enjoyed our new puppy. She is getting snugglier (is that even a word?) every day. Today, she gave me lots of puppy kisses on my nose for the first time :)... There is nothing more stress relieving in this world than puppy kisses!
Dinner was a new recipe - French Lentil & Rice soup... The recipe came from a Crock Pot cook book that my mother-in-law gave me for Christmas. I didn't even think about dinner until after my nap, so it wasn't made in a Crock Pot. But it was good anyway. I'm not a stranger to Lentil Soup (from my detox diet days) and have discovered a liking for it. This recipe is simple and quite tasty :)
French Lentil Rice Soup
6 c. Chicken or Vegetable broth
1 c. Lentils, picked over and rinsed
2 med. Carrots, peeled & finely diced
1 sm. Onion, finely chopped
2 stalks Celery, finely diced
3 Tbsp. uncooked white rice
2 Tbsp. minced garlic
1 tsp. herbes de Provence or 1 tsp. dried Thyme
1/2 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. white pepper
1/4 c. heavy cream or 1/4 c. sour cream, divided (optional)
1/4 c. chopped Parsley (optional)
Stir together broth, lentils, carrots, onion, celery, rice, garlic, herbes de Provence, salt, & pepper in Crock Pot. Cover and cook on LOW 8 hours or on HIGH 4 to 5 hours.
Remove 1 1/2 cups soup and puree in a food processor or blender. Stir pureed soup back into Crock Pot.
Divide soup evenly among 4 serving bowls, garnishing each with 1 Tbsp Cream and 1 Tbsp Parsley, if desired.
**My Alterations: I rough-chopped all the veggies - I prefer a rustic style soup. I also exchanged brown rice for the white rice. I didn't have herbes de Provence or dried Thyme, so I used Italian Seasoning instead. I heated everything in a pot on the stove and brought it to a boil. Once it reached a boil, I lowered the temperature to simmer and I covered the soup until the rice and lentils were done... It took about 30 -45 minutes. I used an immersion blender and stopped before it got too pureed. I omitted the cream and parsley (didn't have any).
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Updates and Outlooks!
So, I've been meaning to update my blog at least once a week. Well, life smacked me upside the head in December, so I didn't have time to write down everything that happened last month... So, bear with me, as this will probably be a rather long post to update everyone on what happened...
In my last post, I commented on the fact that my kitchen took a crap on me... Well, it didn't actually take a crap on me, but the boiler did piss all over everything... It seems like it took FOREVER to get my kitchen back to working order, but it is now back together (for the most part)... I got sick and tired of living in chaos for 2 weeks while they took everything out of my kitchen, let the wall dry, and then to reassemble everything. After much pushing and prodding, they got my kitchen together 3 days before my Christmas company arrived... Aaron came home just before they finished (after being gone for a month) and helped me to put the house to rights. I sincerely hope that our company didn't hold it against us that my usual manically clean house was not up to standards. It was as clean as it could get after being in chaos for weeks and only having 3 days to put it all back. Downside? They didn't finish it completely. I have a working kitchen, but they haven't replaced my flooring yet. Originally, they told Aaron they would come to do it the week after Christmas (but didn't give us a definite date). Then, I called them to find out exactly when they would come to do it... I was told "Monday" - as in January 3... That day has come and gone and I still don't have a floor. Phone calls have so far gone unanswered. I'm just about ready to go get another contractor and replace the floor with what I want (instead of what was there) and still bill the condo association.
Just before Christmas, we heard that a friend had found a puppy along the side of the road... They knew that we wanted a puppy a while back and, since no one came to claim her, they gave her to us. We named her Lijha (pronounced like Elijah, but without the "E"). Aaron picked out the name - after a fixed waypoint on one of the approaches into Bethel. So, we finally got our new addition to the family. Aaron picked her up on his way home last month.Come to find out, she is mostly (if not all) German Shepherd. We estimated her age when we got her around 6 weeks, but we'll find out for sure once her teeth start falling out. She is already just about as tall at the shoulders as Noni.
We had a wonderful Christmas this year. My biological father, step-mother, and oldest brother descended upon us for the week of Christmas! It was so great to get to spend time with them and share traditions. I haven't spent a Christmas with them since I was about 2, so we were due to celebrate. Aaron surprised me a lot this year with many things that I have been asking for... Like a professional grade Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer (in red, of course), a new guitar (that is ACTUALLY playable), and a new computer bag that I can use for both school and work when I travel. We ate lots of good food and enjoyed each others' company.
My brother stayed for an extra week after the parents had to go back to work. He and Aaron got some good bonding time in and I enjoyed showing Juneau to my brother. He's talking about moving up here in about a year or so (once he gets his ducks in a row)... That would be totally awesome!
So, for the new year, we hope (and pray and make sacrifices to whatever gods will listen) that Aaron will get to come back to Juneau to fly sometime this year. We will be training Lijha for protection, since I tend to be alone with just the dogs a lot. Noni isn't very intimidating and Lijha, if trained properly, can and will protect me. I should finish the Associate portion of my degree towards the end of this summer.
And, since I can't end a New Year post without mentioning it... My resolution for the year is to "Get Organized"... I've outlined tasks that I want to complete each month to pare down and organize my life and my house. Cross your fingers and pray for me! It starts this weekend...
In my last post, I commented on the fact that my kitchen took a crap on me... Well, it didn't actually take a crap on me, but the boiler did piss all over everything... It seems like it took FOREVER to get my kitchen back to working order, but it is now back together (for the most part)... I got sick and tired of living in chaos for 2 weeks while they took everything out of my kitchen, let the wall dry, and then to reassemble everything. After much pushing and prodding, they got my kitchen together 3 days before my Christmas company arrived... Aaron came home just before they finished (after being gone for a month) and helped me to put the house to rights. I sincerely hope that our company didn't hold it against us that my usual manically clean house was not up to standards. It was as clean as it could get after being in chaos for weeks and only having 3 days to put it all back. Downside? They didn't finish it completely. I have a working kitchen, but they haven't replaced my flooring yet. Originally, they told Aaron they would come to do it the week after Christmas (but didn't give us a definite date). Then, I called them to find out exactly when they would come to do it... I was told "Monday" - as in January 3... That day has come and gone and I still don't have a floor. Phone calls have so far gone unanswered. I'm just about ready to go get another contractor and replace the floor with what I want (instead of what was there) and still bill the condo association.
Just before Christmas, we heard that a friend had found a puppy along the side of the road... They knew that we wanted a puppy a while back and, since no one came to claim her, they gave her to us. We named her Lijha (pronounced like Elijah, but without the "E"). Aaron picked out the name - after a fixed waypoint on one of the approaches into Bethel. So, we finally got our new addition to the family. Aaron picked her up on his way home last month.Come to find out, she is mostly (if not all) German Shepherd. We estimated her age when we got her around 6 weeks, but we'll find out for sure once her teeth start falling out. She is already just about as tall at the shoulders as Noni.
 |
| Puppies! Notice, the gross sub-floor that the contractors left over Christmas |
We had a wonderful Christmas this year. My biological father, step-mother, and oldest brother descended upon us for the week of Christmas! It was so great to get to spend time with them and share traditions. I haven't spent a Christmas with them since I was about 2, so we were due to celebrate. Aaron surprised me a lot this year with many things that I have been asking for... Like a professional grade Kitchen-Aid Stand Mixer (in red, of course), a new guitar (that is ACTUALLY playable), and a new computer bag that I can use for both school and work when I travel. We ate lots of good food and enjoyed each others' company.
My brother stayed for an extra week after the parents had to go back to work. He and Aaron got some good bonding time in and I enjoyed showing Juneau to my brother. He's talking about moving up here in about a year or so (once he gets his ducks in a row)... That would be totally awesome!
So, for the new year, we hope (and pray and make sacrifices to whatever gods will listen) that Aaron will get to come back to Juneau to fly sometime this year. We will be training Lijha for protection, since I tend to be alone with just the dogs a lot. Noni isn't very intimidating and Lijha, if trained properly, can and will protect me. I should finish the Associate portion of my degree towards the end of this summer.
And, since I can't end a New Year post without mentioning it... My resolution for the year is to "Get Organized"... I've outlined tasks that I want to complete each month to pare down and organize my life and my house. Cross your fingers and pray for me! It starts this weekend...
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
How was your day? Mine sucked...
While Aaron is gone, I don't usually clean all the time, just when I have time, or it really needs it... Let me set the stage for you... I was sick for many days in a row, diminishing the amount of time spent in my kitchen... I don't think I opened the cabinet under my sink for about a week...
Then, one night while making dinner, I decided to do a little spot cleaning while waiting for my food to cook in the microwave... I open the cabinet door to retrieve my cleaning supplies only to be met by hot, humid air billowing out of it... The inside of the doors and the cabinet are covered in mold... Water is dripping from every available surface... Yeah, this was last night...
So, dealing "in the moment," I try to clean the cabinets of all visible colonies of mold. I also bleach the heck out of the doors... I leave the doors open, remove all items from the cabinet, and line the floor with towels in the hopes that it helps to dry out the space. With so much water condensing on the underside of the sink and on the pipes, it was impossible to determine if there was a leak. Then, I take my soup upstairs to eat dinner (finally)...
This morning, there was no visible moisture dripping from anywhere. The condensation had dissipated. However, there was still hot humid air coming out from under the sink. I ran water, both hot and cold, just to check for leaks (again), and there were none... I was late for work, so I left it there, thinking that it could be the boiler on the other side of the wall...
At lunch, I came home to investigate the boiler room... Here was the problem... There was standing water on the floor and I heard a hissing noise coming from an apparatus that happens to be located right behind my sink. I saw water dripping from this area, so I thought it was venting steam. I then contacted the condo association to advise them of the problem. I obtained the phone number to the plumbing company that services our boilers to have them come fix it. I met them when they came over, and we discovered (when we removed a packet of information from the area) that it wasn't venting steam, it was spraying water all over the wall... Awesome!
I then called a cleaning company to address the moisture and mold damage to my wall and cabinets. The sheet rock behind my cabinet is soft (not good)... The verdict? My kitchen needs to be disassembled, the cabinets cleaned and treated for mold, the sheet rock removed, the wall treated for mold, new sheet rock put up, my kitchen reassembled, and the cabinets refinished and my wall textured and painted... Whew!
I'll know more tomorrow as to when all of this will take place. The condo association is responsible for the repairs, and they seem to want to get the problems corrected now rather than later. I'm hoping that I'm not without a kitchen for too long... If it will take a while before repairs can be made, I'm going to have another contractor do the work to expedite it...
In the mean time, my aviator problem solver is on the other side of the state until the 15th... I know he is frustrated that this is happening and that he isn't here to deal with it. But, I think I have done a good job "dealing" with it thus far on my own and he needs to trust that I can handle it in his absence...
Then, one night while making dinner, I decided to do a little spot cleaning while waiting for my food to cook in the microwave... I open the cabinet door to retrieve my cleaning supplies only to be met by hot, humid air billowing out of it... The inside of the doors and the cabinet are covered in mold... Water is dripping from every available surface... Yeah, this was last night...
So, dealing "in the moment," I try to clean the cabinets of all visible colonies of mold. I also bleach the heck out of the doors... I leave the doors open, remove all items from the cabinet, and line the floor with towels in the hopes that it helps to dry out the space. With so much water condensing on the underside of the sink and on the pipes, it was impossible to determine if there was a leak. Then, I take my soup upstairs to eat dinner (finally)...
 |
| Mold stains on the cabinet frame... |
 |
| More mold stains on the cabinet frame... |
 |
| Mold stains/damage to Left Cabinet Door (the highest concentration of mold colonies...ewww) |
 |
| Mold damage on the inside of the cabinet... |
 |
| Mold stains and damage on Right Cabinet Door (double ewww....) |
This morning, there was no visible moisture dripping from anywhere. The condensation had dissipated. However, there was still hot humid air coming out from under the sink. I ran water, both hot and cold, just to check for leaks (again), and there were none... I was late for work, so I left it there, thinking that it could be the boiler on the other side of the wall...
 |
| Boiler Room Situation... |
 |
| The Culprit... The Recirculating Pump... |
I then called a cleaning company to address the moisture and mold damage to my wall and cabinets. The sheet rock behind my cabinet is soft (not good)... The verdict? My kitchen needs to be disassembled, the cabinets cleaned and treated for mold, the sheet rock removed, the wall treated for mold, new sheet rock put up, my kitchen reassembled, and the cabinets refinished and my wall textured and painted... Whew!
I'll know more tomorrow as to when all of this will take place. The condo association is responsible for the repairs, and they seem to want to get the problems corrected now rather than later. I'm hoping that I'm not without a kitchen for too long... If it will take a while before repairs can be made, I'm going to have another contractor do the work to expedite it...
In the mean time, my aviator problem solver is on the other side of the state until the 15th... I know he is frustrated that this is happening and that he isn't here to deal with it. But, I think I have done a good job "dealing" with it thus far on my own and he needs to trust that I can handle it in his absence...
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Has the world lost its mind?!?!?!
I admit. I am one of "those" people who watch Dancing With The Stars. I enjoy watching the dancers and seeing what kind of choreography they come up with... I will also admit that I wasn't excited about the cast this season. I didn't understand why Bristol Palin was on there. I understood why "The Situation" was on there, but wasn't crazy about watching him dance. But you know what I realized? ABC didn't ask my opinion as to who should be on the show. Once the cast is chosen, quit crabbing about it people!
And another thing... The show is just that - it's a television show... A dancing competition that allows people at home to vote... It is for entertainment... (and I'm going out on a limb now and assuming at least one of these "crazy" people actually reads my blog)
An entertainment show does not warrant the behavior that has been reported. Shooting your TV just because someone you don't like remains on the show is insane. I would hope that the person that did that is receiving some medical attention for that kind of behavior.
To the people who have made death threats against the people competing on the show - You should be ashamed of yourself! For crying out loud, if you don't like what you are seeing, turn off your TV.It is never appropriate to make death threats against anyone! Seriously, has the world gone mad?
And another thing... The show is just that - it's a television show... A dancing competition that allows people at home to vote... It is for entertainment... (and I'm going out on a limb now and assuming at least one of these "crazy" people actually reads my blog)
An entertainment show does not warrant the behavior that has been reported. Shooting your TV just because someone you don't like remains on the show is insane. I would hope that the person that did that is receiving some medical attention for that kind of behavior.
To the people who have made death threats against the people competing on the show - You should be ashamed of yourself! For crying out loud, if you don't like what you are seeing, turn off your TV.It is never appropriate to make death threats against anyone! Seriously, has the world gone mad?
Monday, November 15, 2010
A month...
It will be a month before I see my husband again... A whole month...(sigh)
What can I do in a month? Lots!
I can go on a diet, I can organize the house, I can teach Noni a new trick, etc... Somehow, it doesn't seem right that I can do some pretty drastic things while my husband is away... He SHOULD be able to be here to see the progress... But such is the life of a pilot's wife...
So, while I try to get those few things done in a month (very attainable goals, if I do say so myself), I will also be starting up 2 classes at a time again. I have finals this week for my ECON class, and then have an accounting and communications class starting next Monday. Pray for me!
What can I do in a month? Lots!
I can go on a diet, I can organize the house, I can teach Noni a new trick, etc... Somehow, it doesn't seem right that I can do some pretty drastic things while my husband is away... He SHOULD be able to be here to see the progress... But such is the life of a pilot's wife...
So, while I try to get those few things done in a month (very attainable goals, if I do say so myself), I will also be starting up 2 classes at a time again. I have finals this week for my ECON class, and then have an accounting and communications class starting next Monday. Pray for me!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
My dastardly plan...
... worked a little TOO well.
I gave myself 2.5 hours to complete my shopping experience, and was done in 1.5... I had the most amazing shopping experience at Nordstroms! I had an awesome sales person who kept taking the things that I picked up to try on into my own dressing room. Once I was in there, she kept bringing me other things to try. After all was said and done, I walked away with 2 pairs of work slacks (to go with my other pair at home), 6 nice tops that I can dress up or dress down, and 6 sweaters to wear with the 6 tops. Everything is mix/match. I can finish the overhaul of my wardrobe by getting some jeans at home and a few tank tops to layer under some of the tops (a couple are a little too low-cut for my tastes) and to wear under the sweaters for weekend looks. All in all, I am really proud of myself. And extremely thankful to the wonderful person who helped me out...
She even gave me her business card in case I see anything online. I can call her up and tell her what I saw and she will send it to me in Juneau. Absolutely fabulous!
All that fabulosity came with a price... It's a good thing that clothes are considered an investment. These clothes are going to have to last me for quite some time before I go on a shopping spree like this again. Total sticker shock for someone who is used to shopping at Wal-Mart.
I gave myself 2.5 hours to complete my shopping experience, and was done in 1.5... I had the most amazing shopping experience at Nordstroms! I had an awesome sales person who kept taking the things that I picked up to try on into my own dressing room. Once I was in there, she kept bringing me other things to try. After all was said and done, I walked away with 2 pairs of work slacks (to go with my other pair at home), 6 nice tops that I can dress up or dress down, and 6 sweaters to wear with the 6 tops. Everything is mix/match. I can finish the overhaul of my wardrobe by getting some jeans at home and a few tank tops to layer under some of the tops (a couple are a little too low-cut for my tastes) and to wear under the sweaters for weekend looks. All in all, I am really proud of myself. And extremely thankful to the wonderful person who helped me out...
She even gave me her business card in case I see anything online. I can call her up and tell her what I saw and she will send it to me in Juneau. Absolutely fabulous!
All that fabulosity came with a price... It's a good thing that clothes are considered an investment. These clothes are going to have to last me for quite some time before I go on a shopping spree like this again. Total sticker shock for someone who is used to shopping at Wal-Mart.
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