When your pilot is away for some time (like mine is for two-weeks at a time), integrating him into the daily household routine is difficult, usually causing arguments and nastiness the longer he is home. Looking at both sides of the issue:
The person who is home all the time is used to doing things one way and she has to alter her routine to fit the pilot back into it. When the pilot comes home, the person who is always home is looking for some help and understanding after dealing with all of the household issues that came up while he was gone and her own professional responsibilities. What she usually gets is frustration and more stress.
The pilot comes home after working long, stressful shifts and is looking for a break. He takes his time, relaxing and focusing on his projects that have been sitting for two weeks. He does not appreciate the nagging wife. He feels unwelcome at times in his own home.
So, this seems like a big problem, doesn't it... How do these two people have their individual needs met, while making sure that the other person is seen to as well? What is the correct answer? Is there a correct answer?
3 comments:
There's no one-size-fits-all answer. It reminds me of when Aaron's dad would go TDY. Recognizing that there IS an issue goes a long way towards finding a solution. There will be times when both of you have to "give in" more than the other, but you love each other and you make it work. That doesn't help you much, except to let you know that I love you both! :)
I don't have a good answer but understand the problem completely! When John comes home he just wants to chill out which I understand butI am constantly after him to help and do things around the house!
It will always be a difficult situation. Here Eric is not gone for 2 weeks in a row, but max 5 days. Then home for a few and off again. Normally what we do is that he will relax the first day he gets back (so no household or whatsoever), but then he will get into our rhythm. I have to say that he is a very neat and organized person, meaning that he cannot stand any mess etc, so he will start cleaning by himself. He also realizes that since I work 4 days a week and take care of our 1,5 year old daughter I don't always have the energy at night to clean or iron clothes. I really hope you and Aaron will find a way....
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