A bad case of the "What Ifs"

I have taken my time with this topic, but I feel I must share it with other pilot wives. It is something that most (if not all) of us will need to handle at some point in time.

As the wife of a pilot, different scenarios are always in the back of my mind. I tend to let everyday life distract me from these thoughts, but sometimes, everyday life brings them forward...

A good friend of my husband died the other day as the result of a mid air collision. Due to the circumstances surrounding the crash, Aaron was the second person on site and identified the airplane as the one his friend was flying that day. He is, understandably, upset.

As a wife, I was grateful that he wasn't involved and that he is OK. As a wife, I suffer because I can't be with him to comfort him. All I can do is listen over the phone as I hear him grieve for his friend. I can offer comfort through my words as he deals with the helplessness he feels about being on scene and not being able to do anything to help his friend or the other pilot involved. I cry with him because of the personal relationship we had with his friend...

As a wife, I also feel my own helplessness about the situation. Helplessness that the only thing I can do is talk on the phone when all I want to do is hold him close. The nagging thoughts in the back of my head are screaming "What If?" I know these thoughts are not worthwhile, but after an incident such as this, it is hard to turn that voice off...