Almost a year ago, I decided that it would be a GREAT idea to go back to school and (finally) get my bachelor's degree... I was very self-righteous about it too! I figured that since I had spent the last 11 years of my life focusing on my husband and his career, moving so much that steady employment and education were not exactly part of my life, it was time for me...
After spending several months being stressed out from my new schedule, I still held to my convictions. Having a degree (especially since the prospect of a family is not a reality at the moment) was very important to me. I wanted to have a career and feel like I am contributing to our lifestyle...
Then came the months from HELL... Way too much stress in my life between my full time job and more demanding classes... Panic attacks were not foreign to me from the months of January to July...7 months of sheer horror... I hardly recognized myself after that experience...
Fast-forward to today... My class load is light and relatively stress free (an easy class). Aaron is home and is working on interesting projects in the hanger... So interesting that I want to hang out there with him, to see what he's up to, and to just spend little time I can with him...
Instead, I feel guilty for any time that I spend with him instead of on school work... When I make a judgment call and choose my family over my education, I get emails from my instructor telling me to do better...
Whatever, I want my life back... I want time to myself again... I want to be able to go out and spend a day with my husband without thinking that I need to finish writing a paper that was due yesterday...
But then, I think back to almost a year ago... When I had a goal of getting my bachelor's degree...
Crap.
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