I have 3 more days before Aaron comes home again. I am trying to have a positive outlook for the month of October, despite the fact that I live hundreds if not thousands of miles away from my family and I will be ringing in my 30th birthday alone because of Aaron's schedule. I'm not terribly excited about it. It's not really your birthday if you have to celebrate it 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after.
Maybe if I think "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens," I will be so happy with turning 30 that I'll crap rainbow gumdrops where ever I go. Or I could just drink tequila... Lots and lots of tequila...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
The joys of Rheumatoid Arthritis...
Ok, there really aren't any joys to having such a debilitating disease... but how else am I supposed to look at something that affects me so much?
I have been spoiled for the last two weeks. With a glorious high pressure system camped out in Canada for a while, Juneau was blessed with wonderful, non-rainy weather for about 2 weeks straight. Easing into that kind of weather system, I started feeling better and better. I had lots of energy, as was evident in my previous post.
Notice how I said "was" - as in past tense?
Sometime in the night, a major low pressure system moved just off the coast of Southeast Alaska, signaling the end of my glorious weather. Waking up this morning, it was like someone flipped a switch and turned my energy off. With my goals of walking every day, it was difficult getting out of bed this morning, but I did it. I didn't walk for a full hour, but if I had, I probably would have passed out from lack of energy. Coming home from the gym, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. But, I had to go to work today...
I wanted a nap all day. I can tell a marked difference in my joints as well. Normally, it is my knees and/or my hips that are stiff and sore when I experience a flare up, but today, it's everywhere. Throughout my back, in my shoulders, elbows, hips, knees, feet... It's not painful in the "oh, my, that hurts" sort of way, but my joints feel tired.
I don't ever remember experiencing such extremes before. Normally, it takes a while for weather systems to affect me. That tells me this is a major system... I hope it goes away soon, or I get use to the fatigue enough to get everything done this weekend that I need to.
I have been spoiled for the last two weeks. With a glorious high pressure system camped out in Canada for a while, Juneau was blessed with wonderful, non-rainy weather for about 2 weeks straight. Easing into that kind of weather system, I started feeling better and better. I had lots of energy, as was evident in my previous post.
Notice how I said "was" - as in past tense?
Sometime in the night, a major low pressure system moved just off the coast of Southeast Alaska, signaling the end of my glorious weather. Waking up this morning, it was like someone flipped a switch and turned my energy off. With my goals of walking every day, it was difficult getting out of bed this morning, but I did it. I didn't walk for a full hour, but if I had, I probably would have passed out from lack of energy. Coming home from the gym, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. But, I had to go to work today...
I wanted a nap all day. I can tell a marked difference in my joints as well. Normally, it is my knees and/or my hips that are stiff and sore when I experience a flare up, but today, it's everywhere. Throughout my back, in my shoulders, elbows, hips, knees, feet... It's not painful in the "oh, my, that hurts" sort of way, but my joints feel tired.
I don't ever remember experiencing such extremes before. Normally, it takes a while for weather systems to affect me. That tells me this is a major system... I hope it goes away soon, or I get use to the fatigue enough to get everything done this weekend that I need to.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
New Goals That Yield Surprises!
For the longest time, I have fought the urge to join a gym or a health club. I just could not fathom spending so much money a month on something that I may not "do" fully. In the past, when I would go to a health club with a friend, I pretty much just did the treadmill. Now, my mind has continually counted how many monthly gym payments it would take to buy a treadmill for my house. In my mind, it was cheaper in the long run to just buy a stupid treadmill to walk on.
With the hectic lifestyle that Aaron and I have led over the years, owning a treadmill was not an option. Imagine the cost of transporting a treadmill across the Pacific, or letting it rot with everything else in a storage unit. Or the situation is what we are in now - we just don't have room for one.
So, I've gotten over my hesitation to spend money on a gym. I joined one a few blocks away while they had an open house special and I got a month-to-month membership for the same monthly cost as a full-year membership. Normally, it's at least $20 more per month.
Since I have made the monetary commitment, I have set goals to actually attend the gym. My first goal involves waking up early and going to the gym and walk on the treadmill for one hour. Starting this past Saturday, I got up earlier than normal for a Saturday and checked day one off the list. Day two, I decided to see if I could do the elliptical machine and alternate that with the treadmill. I learned that I am more out of shape than I thought. After 15 minutes, I thought I was going to die. I spent most of Sunday coughing like I had asthma. No more elliptical machine for a while. Day 3 and Day 4 were during the work week, and brought the un-Godly hour of 5:30 AM into my life... Surprising enough, I found that on both of these days, I woke up BEFORE the alarm went off. Another surprise, I'm ACTUALLY awake... Normally, I take forever to wake up. I may be functioning at 8:30 when I report to work, but I'm not really "there" until around 10:00...
As a continuation of my goals, after I've been walking on the treadmill every day for 2 weeks, I'll try the elliptical machine again. Once I get up to where I can handle that for at least 30 minutes, I'll alternate my morning routine with that machine, as it burns more calories and has less impact on my knees than the treadmill. The gym I joined also has classes I can take. This Sunday, I'll take in the Gentle Yoga class to see if I will integrate that into my schedule. As I get healthier and more confident that I can do more without injuring myself, I'll add in some weight/resistance training to tone my muscles. Maybe, I'll even add a Spinning class... But, for right now, I'm taking it slow.
One last surprise - My allergy attacks have subsided (and as I type this, I start sneezing, I think I jinxed myself). I'm not sure if it is due to a change in the weather as it cools down for fall or my new routine, but I'll take it! The last month or two, I've been having severe allergy attacks at least every other week. They are so severe, that it takes several days for my respiratory system to recover...
With the hectic lifestyle that Aaron and I have led over the years, owning a treadmill was not an option. Imagine the cost of transporting a treadmill across the Pacific, or letting it rot with everything else in a storage unit. Or the situation is what we are in now - we just don't have room for one.
So, I've gotten over my hesitation to spend money on a gym. I joined one a few blocks away while they had an open house special and I got a month-to-month membership for the same monthly cost as a full-year membership. Normally, it's at least $20 more per month.
Since I have made the monetary commitment, I have set goals to actually attend the gym. My first goal involves waking up early and going to the gym and walk on the treadmill for one hour. Starting this past Saturday, I got up earlier than normal for a Saturday and checked day one off the list. Day two, I decided to see if I could do the elliptical machine and alternate that with the treadmill. I learned that I am more out of shape than I thought. After 15 minutes, I thought I was going to die. I spent most of Sunday coughing like I had asthma. No more elliptical machine for a while. Day 3 and Day 4 were during the work week, and brought the un-Godly hour of 5:30 AM into my life... Surprising enough, I found that on both of these days, I woke up BEFORE the alarm went off. Another surprise, I'm ACTUALLY awake... Normally, I take forever to wake up. I may be functioning at 8:30 when I report to work, but I'm not really "there" until around 10:00...
As a continuation of my goals, after I've been walking on the treadmill every day for 2 weeks, I'll try the elliptical machine again. Once I get up to where I can handle that for at least 30 minutes, I'll alternate my morning routine with that machine, as it burns more calories and has less impact on my knees than the treadmill. The gym I joined also has classes I can take. This Sunday, I'll take in the Gentle Yoga class to see if I will integrate that into my schedule. As I get healthier and more confident that I can do more without injuring myself, I'll add in some weight/resistance training to tone my muscles. Maybe, I'll even add a Spinning class... But, for right now, I'm taking it slow.
One last surprise - My allergy attacks have subsided (and as I type this, I start sneezing, I think I jinxed myself). I'm not sure if it is due to a change in the weather as it cools down for fall or my new routine, but I'll take it! The last month or two, I've been having severe allergy attacks at least every other week. They are so severe, that it takes several days for my respiratory system to recover...
Monday, September 6, 2010
I want my life back...
Almost a year ago, I decided that it would be a GREAT idea to go back to school and (finally) get my bachelor's degree... I was very self-righteous about it too! I figured that since I had spent the last 11 years of my life focusing on my husband and his career, moving so much that steady employment and education were not exactly part of my life, it was time for me...
After spending several months being stressed out from my new schedule, I still held to my convictions. Having a degree (especially since the prospect of a family is not a reality at the moment) was very important to me. I wanted to have a career and feel like I am contributing to our lifestyle...
Then came the months from HELL... Way too much stress in my life between my full time job and more demanding classes... Panic attacks were not foreign to me from the months of January to July...7 months of sheer horror... I hardly recognized myself after that experience...
Fast-forward to today... My class load is light and relatively stress free (an easy class). Aaron is home and is working on interesting projects in the hanger... So interesting that I want to hang out there with him, to see what he's up to, and to just spend little time I can with him...
Instead, I feel guilty for any time that I spend with him instead of on school work... When I make a judgment call and choose my family over my education, I get emails from my instructor telling me to do better...
Whatever, I want my life back... I want time to myself again... I want to be able to go out and spend a day with my husband without thinking that I need to finish writing a paper that was due yesterday...
But then, I think back to almost a year ago... When I had a goal of getting my bachelor's degree...
Crap.
After spending several months being stressed out from my new schedule, I still held to my convictions. Having a degree (especially since the prospect of a family is not a reality at the moment) was very important to me. I wanted to have a career and feel like I am contributing to our lifestyle...
Then came the months from HELL... Way too much stress in my life between my full time job and more demanding classes... Panic attacks were not foreign to me from the months of January to July...7 months of sheer horror... I hardly recognized myself after that experience...
Fast-forward to today... My class load is light and relatively stress free (an easy class). Aaron is home and is working on interesting projects in the hanger... So interesting that I want to hang out there with him, to see what he's up to, and to just spend little time I can with him...
Instead, I feel guilty for any time that I spend with him instead of on school work... When I make a judgment call and choose my family over my education, I get emails from my instructor telling me to do better...
Whatever, I want my life back... I want time to myself again... I want to be able to go out and spend a day with my husband without thinking that I need to finish writing a paper that was due yesterday...
But then, I think back to almost a year ago... When I had a goal of getting my bachelor's degree...
Crap.
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